Maybe you’ve spent years building a life and a home with your spouse. Now, you’re facing the possibility of divorce. If this isn’t the life you imagined, you’re not alone. Many older adults are experiencing what is known as “gray divorce.” What is a gray divorce? The term refers specifically to divorces between adults who are 50 or older.
Gray divorce reasons differ from couple to couple, but the process can be complex and emotionally and financially draining for anyone. If you’re facing the end of a long-term marriage, you deserve clarity and support to navigate this challenging time.
At Pakpour Banks LLP, we are passionate about fighting for the rights of families in California. Guidance from one of our skilled divorce advocates can help reduce the stress of the legal process and help ensure that you walk away from divorce court with everything you deserve.
What Is a Gray Divorce?
Gray divorce refers to the dissolution of marriages among couples aged 50 and older. The term was coined by sociology researchers studying the growing trend of couples who divorce in their 50s and beyond—sometimes after decades of marriage. According to current research, the divorce rate for individuals over 65 has tripled since 1990, even as the overall divorce rate has slowly declined.
What Are Common Gray Divorce Reasons?
Many factors can lead a couple to divorce later in life. Among the key forces contributing to the rise of gray divorces are the following:
- Increased longevity. Since people are increasingly living longer, marriages that may have previously ended in widowhood at a certain age are now lasting past that point. This can raise the likelihood of divorce, as couples may grow apart or seek different forms of fulfillment later in life.
- An empty nest. Once their children leave home, some couples turn a heightened focus on their marriages and realize they no longer want to be together.
- Financial independence. More women have financial independence now than in the past, making them less reliant on marriage for economic survival.
Marriages after 50 may also dissolve for the same reasons they do for couples in their 40s, 30s, and 20s. Infidelity, addiction, financial squabbles, parenting differences, and health issues can affect a marriage at any age.
However, a gray divorce can present unique challenges for couples due to the long-term entanglement of finances and interwoven emotional, familial, and social ties. Given the increased prevalence of gray divorces and the complications they can present, having an attorney can be crucial to a divorcing spouse’s well-being.
Key Considerations for Divorces Between Older Adults
When considering the end of marriage later in life, there are two key factors to understand: when you can ask for a divorce and what a divorce order may include.
What Are the Grounds for a Divorce?
Although there are many potential reasons for divorcing, you only have to name one to dissolve your marriage in California. California is a “no-fault” divorce state that only requires a couple to prove that they have “irreconcilable differences” before ending their marriage.
This simply means that you have substantial reasons for not wanting to continue to be married. Irreconcilable differences are the main ground for California couples looking to end a marriage. The only other legal way to seek a divorce in California is to show that your spouse has a permanent legal incapacity for decision-making.
What Is in a Divorce Judgment?
A divorce judgment is a court order that officially ends a marriage. To get one, the divorce court must make decisions regarding the following:
- The division of property and debts. California is a community property state where assets and debts acquired during the marriage are typically divided equally. This division of property can include retirement benefits.
- Child custody. If you and your spouse share any minor children (or adult children with special needs), the court must decide how you will share parenting responsibilities. The court bases these decisions on what is in each child’s best interests.
- Child support. Any child in a custody decree should also receive child support payments from one of their parents. These payments are based on the parents’ finances and the child’s needs.
- Spousal support. A court may order spousal support to help a lower-earning spouse maintain their standard of living. Factors for support include each spouse’s income and earning capacity, the length of the marriage, and the spouses’ standard of living while married.
Gray divorces can be particularly hard on spouses who worked in the home, raising children or managing the household. Traditionally, women in gray divorces leave their marriages with little to no work history and may face significant financial struggles.
If you are concerned about supporting yourself after a divorce, representation by a qualified attorney is key. At Pakpour Banks LLP, our advocates can work to help you win a divorce settlement that can support your needs for years to come.
How an Attorney Can Help
Gray divorce can have significant emotional and financial ramifications. However, the guidance and knowledge of a strong legal advocate can help eliminate or soften the impact of these changes. An experienced California divorce attorney, like those at Pakpour Banks LLP, can help:
- Protect your financial interests,
- Navigate complex property division,
- Negotiate fair spousal support,
- Minimize emotional stress, and
- Provide clear and compassionate guidance.
We are ready to help you take on a new chapter in life with hope and security.
Open Your Next Chapter with Us
Divorce is a difficult transition, but it can also be an opportunity for a fresh start. With the right support, you can build a fulfilling and happy future. At Pakpour Banks LLP, we have more than a decade of combined experience helping California families navigate the challenges of divorce. Our Davis divorce attorneys have received top honors in the legal field, and we’re prepared to help guide you. Contact us by phone or online today to get the legal help you deserve.
Resource List
- California Family Code, §2622, link.
- California Family Code, §§2610-2611, link.
- California Family Code, §§3010-3012, link.
- California Family Code, §§4320-4326, link.
- Rutgers—New Brunswick, Edward J. Bloustein School of Planning and Public Policy, The “classic” — and not so classic — reasons why older people are splitting, Oct. 1, 2024, link.
- Cahn and Carbone, Institute for Family Studies, Who Is At Risk for A Gray Divorce? It Depends, May 1, 2017, link.
Brian enters the family law profession with a refreshing approach to these proceedings: heal families; don’t destroy them. In some cases, this means the family is going to look different than it did before. In other cases, this means a new family is created where there was none before. Either way, individuals should leave family court knowing their voices were heard, and with healthy attitudes about themselves and those they love.